Happy Holidays to you too.

Christmas will never be the same as it was being a little girl counting down the days, making lists, and counting the presents underneath the christmas tree.

It's true, the older you get the worst Christmas gets.

The first week of the Christmas break for me has been sleep, work, eat, and more sleep. I did apply to Universities (Ryerson Fashion, Film, Graphic Communication Management & OCAD Advertising), but I have not done anything to build up the portfolios required. But I'm only halfway screwed, I guess. To prevent myself from being fully screwed, I got to work my ass off next week; at least to finish up the illustrations for fashion.

As of now, I'm still relaxing, and enjoying all the food at Christmastime.

Yesterday was fun, the party was at my house meaning Philipino buffet, dancing, karaoke, and a whole lot of laughing. My presents consisted of $30 worth of Starbucks gift cards, money, and chocolates.

But the real Christmas for me is tomorrow.

I'll probably forget to blog this tomorrow, so,

HAVE A MERRY BOXING DAY.

Pretty in pink- SHOES.

Taylor Momsen,

you feel my swag.

Here's to letting go of everything I ever wanted.

This is for every person who has held hope in finding love, and holding on to one person for too long even after all the heartbreak; hoping that there will come a time when that person could realize how much you want to love them and give that to you in return.

But I say to you, fuck it. Seriously.

I can't even begin to explain how much hope I kept in the back of my mind for one person, for way too long. I've never fallen inlove, but he was the closest thing to it. Everytime he came around, I felt more alive than ever. And I can't even remember how many nights of conversations I've poured my heart for him. I know, and he knows that no other girl could care for him as much I ever will. Pretty much. Funny thing is, as much as I wanted it, being together was never on the list for him. Nonetheless, there was (stupid) me holding on to hope in the back of my mind, that one day he'll wake up and give me the same kind of attention I give him.

But here's to realizing for the last time that too much time has been wasted and accepting it completely. And here's me waking up to the day that I'll let go of everything that ever had to do with him. Hell, here's to letting go of ever trying to find something out there. I don't want any of it anymore.

Here's to feeling so low, you don't want to feel anything anymore.

A Sleepover, Mama's birthday, and H&M Christmas Dinner

Friday

Had a great time with a good friend; Esther Battista. Of course, we did whatever girls are supposed to do at slumber parties. Plan a party, have never ending girl talks, and be camera whores for at least an hour.

Saturday

Slept in during the day. And mom's birthday party with family and friends, and we watched UP which is officially the cutest movie forever.

Sunday

Had a nice cup of starbucks by myself, and started reading Snuff (Chuck Palahniuk)

H&M Christmas Dinner at Moxie's. I got Belgium chocolate and soap from Lush from my kris kringle! And funny story: I ordered Calamari, but ended up getting it off my bill because I told them it tastes like shit. Simple as that.

Party at a Jonas's, my pretty sweet Sister & a sweet cup of Starbucks.

Friday

Work.

Saturday

I had a friend whose parents were out of town, and you know what comes next. Shaun Jonas's party was pretty much a hotspot for the weekend. Coolest thing is, he lives literally five minutes away. I met some really fun, hot new friends. The only negative was, being a nice girl that I was, I ended up sticking around to watch the cute boy puke and pass out in the washroom. Twice. I guess I was pretty intoxicated because I do realize now that was stupid of me to do. Nonetheless, it was still a good party.

Sunday

Church. And went out with the Sis.

Take this in: we get in the car and she asks,

"You're going to be my maid-of-honour when I get married, right?"

How amazing is that?

My first response was "EEEeeep reallyy? YESYES."

My second was, "Wait, why don't you get one of your best friends?"

She says to me, "Because they're my best friends, but you're my best BEST friend."

I don't even know how to explain how much that meant to me; how much my sister Jenny means to me. But anyway, I spent the Sunday with the sister doing the two things a girl can never refuse to do:

Girl talks at Starbucks, and Shoe Shopping. ♥

Let me introduce you to...

John

O'Callaghan.

Who?

Lead singer of one of my favourite bands 'The Maine.'

Unexpectedly, me, Tati, and Meg found him outside the Koolhaus before the concert started. (Concert - November 15/09 - Rocket to the Moon, The Maine, Cobra Starship, Boys Like Girls)

He is actually really sweet, and obvs really good looking. And The Maine and the Cobras put on the best show that night. I still can't believe I met him, gave him a hug, talked to him, and got his autograph on my IPod. Shiitttt.

Next stop: Ryerson, OSLC, an unexpected night, and a shitload of heartbreak.

Ryerson

I cannot even think about not getting in. I HAVE to get in. The film program sounds like everything I want university to be. Filming, producing, directing, everything about film- right in the heart of the city. The school is a five minute walk away from Eaton's Centre. It seriously can't get any better than that.

OSLC

I attended this year's 'Ontario Student Leadership Coference' in Niagara Falls. It's incredible how fortunate I am to take part in huge events like these. There were over 2000 students there just taking the opportunity to learn about the things we should be aware of about our world, and taking global leadership to make a change.

"I do not want to be a leader of tomorrow. I want to be a leader today."

"Don't ever let anyone make you feel inferior without your permission."

"Make the past a reference, not a residence."

Unexpected Night

So here's the last weekend I wasn't expecting at all. The plan was sushi, and a friend's huge party. Well, sushi was cancelled, and I found myself just hanging out with a couple of new friends at my new neighbour's house. It was a good night. And a bonus? He was there.

The Rest.

Yes, it's just pretty much heartbreak again, and a lot of it. Funny thing is, it's true that the cause of it is all because of me; because I go out hoping for what's out there. But hey, maybe it's just a phase. Or maybe because I'm simply just bored.

We all go through it, right?

Apathy.

Apathy: lack of interest, enthusiasm or concern

That, folks, is the word of the day.

Part A - UNIVERSITY

Today was the Film Workshop at York University. York University was above any other on my University list. But not anymore. Entering the building hyped up the anticipation in the beginning because the place was so huge. However, as the presentations went by, everything just seemed so lifeless and uninspiring. I really cannot explain what it was, because I really do not know. It could be maybe because the faculty was empty, or because the students didn't hype it up enough. All day, I tried to figure out what was missing.

I finally figured it out after going to downtown.

My friend hosted her birthday party at a karaoke bar.

But the point is, what was missing was the city.

York University was so far from the city life, and that's a huge problem.

Plus, how the hell am I supposed to capture adventure within the Media in the middle of nowhere?

And University for me always meant the city life.

I want University to mean being in the heart of the city.

So next stop, Ryerson?

Part B- LOVESHIT

Basically, I'm really fucking sick of it. How is it that I always forget boys are all the same? Or, okay, maybe they're not all the same. But the ones I fall for always seem to be such assholes. Too much time has been wasted trying. Pretty much.

MAJOR UPDATE 3/3- Awards & HALLOWEEN.

October 29- Awards Night. Feels good getting the Fashion Award. The other is, Graphic Design, still legit.

October 30- Hallow's Eve at Jaimie Hayward's. And a happy birthday to Dora Majkut. Fun night. Highlight of the night: two random boys in a band teaching us how to say 'oh yeah' correctly. Apparently, it should go: "OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OUUUHH YEAAAAHH"

Crazy kids.

October 31- Trick or Treating. Kathy's party. D'Y party.

Highlights:

1 Getting chased by the scary people at the houses, and Ysabelle's bumblebee wings getting stuck in the tree.

2 Seeing a good friend I've been missing for what seems like fucking forever.

3 Him.

MAJOR UPDATE 2/3- Paranormal (fucking) Activity, Tota Lounge, and a Mandarin Dinner.

October 23- It was never my idea. It's never my idea to watch a scary movie. Michelle Serdan and Brittney Noseworthy forced me to see Paranormal Activity with them. They even paid for me. The movie was shit, but it did its job- to scare the crap outta me when I got home.

Confession: I had to sleep with my mom for three days straight.

October 24- A childhood friend turned 20. Had her birthday at Tota Lounge. Best part- I never got I.D.'d. Ten points for me. :)

October 25- Daddy's birthday. Dinner at Mandarin. Two of my favourites on a Sunday that start with the letter 'F' - Family and Food.

FACT: those are the two things you really can't take for granted.

MAJOR UPDATE 1/3- A best friend's birthday.

October 16: Meg Crisol's seventeenth birthday. It was the most random, but coziest fancy restaurant I've ever been to. It was a restaurant at a Golf Course, and me being the fat-ass I can be, ordered a steak sandwich.

Then we went back to Meg's house- played foozball for the first time in like two years, Wii, and youtube videos? Ha.

October 17: Worked @ Vaughan Mills H&M. Full 9 hour shift in the men's department.

The best :)

And god bless all those boys who can still follow and appreciate good sense of fashion.

"OHANA"

And that is how you say "I love you" in Hawaiian, a.k.a 'Lilo and Stitch' language. Ohh I love Art Class.

P.S. Tonight is Meg's Birthday dinner at a Golf Club Restaurant.

We get to dress up, and eat fancy food at a fancy restaurant.

THANK GOD I'TS FRIDAY.

This turned out to be really really late.

This is an extremely late update. Nonetheless, it's still something worth looking back on. Here's a bit I can remember today, right now. 1 am in the morning.

University Fair/ Septermber 26:

Absolutely motivating being in such an atmosphere. One building filled with thousands of kids, professors, and a whole lot of free shit. There were really only 4 schools that had programs for film and such. This included Ryerson, York, OCAD, and Guelph- Humber (kind of). The advisor at Ryerson has no idea what the hell he was talking about, but I do know Ryerson is a legit school to learn about film theory. Next, York University. Talking with York professors from the actual film program was breathtaking. I learned EVERYTHING I needed to about the program and future events. And seriously, York is officially my dream for the next couple of months I have left in high school. There are so many reasons why I feel this way, but I'll leave it at this: students from the film program at York have their work chosen for the International Film Festival. That's one hell of a place to study at I can already tell. Now talking about OCAD and Guelph- Humber will be pointless but I will do it briefly. OCAD seems really cool too because it's so artsy and a lot of passion comes out of it, and it's just cool. Lastly, Guelph- Humber disappointed me- they do have film, but only as a small portion for broadcasting. Nevermind that.

Basically, here are my top three:

1 YORK

2 RYERSON

3 OCAD

I get so excited just hearing these three names.

It's incredible that after high school

is really just beginning to the rest of our lives.

Tennis/ September 29:

It was a good two- three weeks. We lost almost every game. I had fun.

Boys& Girls night at STA/ Sept. 24& Oct. 1:

Girls night was alright. I was just a little disappointed that my group wasn't as energetic as i expected. Or maybe I just expected too much. At least the food was good. However, boys night was good. I helped run the IMPROV room, and it was the most fun I had being at school.

Nicaragua trip issues:

Nicaragua was supposed to change my life. Helping people in a third world country. Bringing social justice. Going to my first out-of-the-country high school trip. Growing as a person through the worst culture shocks ever, having no technology, the heat, and meeting the people who are the happiest in the world when they have nothing compared to the things we call home. It was supposed to be. Until I realized my parents know nothing about me, and the things that are important to me.

LOVE:

It's just the same old thing. What passes you by in the hallways. Something you want to catch, but instead you just keep falling. And falling. And falling. Falling for him. You want to catch him, but it seems it's too far away for that. So far. Then really at the end of the day, you really say it's okay to fall, just as long as HE'LL be the one to catch YOU. But hoping that you won't fall deep enough that it's too late for him to catch you.

FAME:

This movie is just beautiful. Beautiful and inspiring. The very reason why I want to get into film. The very reason why we all want to be successful. The very reason why we live.

Really Really Soon.

So I can't even say "Tomorrow I'm going to..."

because it's already today since it's past midnight,

get my drift?

Okay. Story is, very very soon I will be back in Downtown t.o. again for the University Fair and to see my girls. I am EXTREMELY excited.

I probably will be tweeting every couple of hours to keep updated on things worth remembering.

Now it's time for bed so in a couple of hours I can get ready for all the excitement. wooo.

OH WAIT I forgot to mention how proud I am to say i actually attended the Terry Fox assembly and it was actually worth it. There was an awesome band that played, and it was nice to see amazing school spirit there.

I also had breakfast at Denny's with the best friend, Amika. Favouurrritee. Watched the football game for a bit. Went for a walk& talk. Perfumes at Shoppers Drugmart. Driving lessons. Made a video. Cool.

P.S. I attempted the "smokey eye" look at home today just because I saw it on a music video and it looked hot. hah.

Goodnight.

It stings.

My throat. It stings. I have a sore throat and it sucks.

As for better news,

Wednesday Sept. 16/09 - I made my first ever school team. Yay for the tennis team :)

Friday Sept. 18/09- Hung out with Kayc, Meg, and Tona. It's amazing how much fun you can have even if you're just staying in. And its also amazing how the cupcakes I took part in baking turned out pretty good. Hah.

Today- Work. $$$ :) And I went to a family party for a bit. Two of my favourites during the weekend that start with the letter 'C': Cousins, and Catering.

Now that I'm home, I should really get going on some homework. I'm also going to be praying to God tonight to heal my illness.

Goodnight.

It's official, it's goodbye summer 2009.

Well here's an update about how I spent my last weekend before senior year officially began.

On Friday, September 7, I spent my entire night and the next morning in the hospital. For good news, of course. My sister Anne unexpectedly began labour that day, and at approximately 6:30am Allister Espiritu Galang was born. Another highlight of my summer. Babies are seriously toxic. Even though all they do is sleep, eat, poo, look cute, and cry, you can't help but love them with everything in you. Seriously. Coming home is so much more exciting now with a baby in the house.

On Sunday, September 6, I went to downtown with cousins Jasmine and Samantha accompanied by their boyfriends Justin and Andrew. Yes, I was a fifth wheel but it's not like i care. If I'm in Toronto, it doesn't matter who I'm with- I'm always finding myself having a great time. Anyway, it was a satisfying day: JackAstor's, shopping, pool, music at Dundas Square, and enjoying the incredible breeze and city lights.

Finally, on Labor Day Monday, my fellow asian MaryCarmel came over. Another good day filled with Entourage, chinese food, nailpolish, crepes, and laughter.

Looking back on summer, it ended up being as good as I wanted it to be. From Pennsylvania, to renovating my room, to bussing every day to Chapters, to constant Toronto adventures, to driving lessons, to reconnecting and making a bunch of amazing new friends, to a new life- I am content with how things turned out.

Everytime I see pictures from the past events, I get a sense of both happiness and depression. Happiness because I'm so grateful for all the memorable events and the people I was lucky to have spent it with. Depression because it's all over. I miss everything about summer. But then again, I have to remember that things are always bound to end so we can appreciate them more and more each day- and to anticipate bigger things in the future.

So here's to the end of one hell of a wonderful Summer, and to the beginning of Senior Year.

Update 02: HS & W.

Date: Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Location: TORONTO Eatons Centre, MuchMusic, The Opera House.

The entire day was about Honor Society. They're a band, and you probably don't know them. But if you did, you would probably be jealous to hear that we hung out with them for the day. Me, Liz, Laura, and Celine as well as a couple of other fans were really lucky to have met up with them at the mall. We took pictures, sang Happy Birthday to Jason, and just chilled. They are honestly the nicest, and best-smelling band I've ever met in my life. And the hot drummer, Alex Noyes is the biggest tease of my life.

After hanging out at the mall, we headed over to MuchMusic to see them perform an acoustic set. We danced and had a sweet ass dance party in the streets of T.O. Hah. It was so much fun.

I also wanted to go see my lover Tim Deegan, but I'll get back to him for the weekend. LOL.

Anyway, following the acoustic jam, we met up with ROSIE GAGA! This chick flew in from California to go to the show for the night. So we ate lunch together, and headed over to The Opera House for Honor Society's gig.

Once again, it was another satisfying day with my girls from the W Crew.

[ Twitter: W_Crew ] ;)

These girls have honestly made the last week of summer absolutely unforgettable.

BFFS? You can say that.

Update 01: JONAS.

Date: Sunday, August 30, 2009

Location: TORONTO MuchMusic, Rogers Centre.

Operation: Jonai.

Highlights

8:30 AM Arrive in downtown. Eatons Centre. Pick up Starbucks.

9:00 AM Meet up with Liz, Laura, &Melissa at the Four Seasons Hotel.

9:30- 12:30 PM Wait around for celebs to come. We saw Jordin Sparks. :)

12:30- 1:30 PM Walk around the area. Ran to see Big Rob.

1:30- 2:30 PM Waited around for Jonas Brothers to come out again.

2:30- 4:00 PM Saw Jonas Brothers &Honor Society at MuchMusic. + Tim Deegan♥ [I'm officially inlove with him. HE did it first. HE was checking me out first. Hah.]

4:00- 5:30 PM Waited around for Honor Society. But EVEN better -> JOE JONAS ROLLED DOWN HIS WINDOW TO SMILE AT ME, MICHELLE, AND LIZ.

He is so much hotter in person.

5:30- 7:30 PM Made our way to the Rogers Centre. Waited in line to get in.

7:30- 11:00 PM CONCERT. +Meet and Greet with Honor Society [And i will never ever forget when the hot drummer asked for my name.] AND Demi Lovato showed up. Whaaatt?

BASICALLY, this concert was the highlight of my summer. Yes, a Jonas Brothers Concert. And I don't give a shit what you think. They put one hell of a good show, and I had the time of my life being there. Even if it's screaming like an idiot. You really can't control it- you can't help but scream when you see them. Even if you didn't like the Jonas Brothers, you still would. And Nick Jonas breathtaking to look at; I still don't understand how anyone can be so perfect. It was also amazing to meet new people and connect with them like you've known each other for years. This was honestly the best concert of my life. And thank you Michelle, Audrey, Liz, Celine, Melissa, and Laura for being there to enjoy every second of it with me.

Anticipation with a cherry on top.

My incredible family and I went down to Pacific Mall today. I genuinely love and appreciate family weekends. To top it off, Chinese food never fails to satisfy me. And as an extra cherry on top, I got a cherry red Blackberry Curve- and I love love love it. This is my third phone this year, but I have a really good feeling this will be a keeper.

& Anticipation is

TOMORROW:

Hah. It's going to be an amazing day.

Yesterday, the day before, today, and tomorrow.

Yesterday

Went to downtown T.O. with Michelle/Miley. Splurged on clothes and shoes- just the usual. Met some really nice celebs (info& pics coming soon). Toronto is my home. Seriously.

The day before

Went down to the city again. Saw my sister's condo, and Liberty Village. It's absolutely breathtaking. God I can't wait until I get to be as independent as she is.

Today

I would just like to stay at home, clean my room a bit, finish 'Choke,' and start reading the fashion bible. And if I don't get too lazy, i'll hit up the gym.

Tomorrow

Work and work and work.

And possibly a movie?

Oh, and three days until Nicholas Jonas. I'm freaking out.

"Never never look in the rearview mirror darling. It makes no difference what's behind you."

This is the very reason why I long for a chance in the film industry.

Film allows you a taste of any century you dream of.

Any place you want to step into. Any story you want performed.

Any family you want to be a part of.

A character you've been dying to meet.

A life you want to live. Laughter. Tears. Action.

Real life adventures. Things that could never ever happen in reality.

Right before your eyes. See it once. Or again. And again.

Hell yeah, it will last forever. And the feeling you get after every good movie, it will always be there.

Anyway, I have really got to see 'My One and Only.'

I absolutely love Renee Zellweger.

And Logan Lerman is a studmuffin. God I have got to get famous soon enough.

All the gorgeous boys are in Hollywood. Hah.

Mother, we just can't get enough.

I finally finished Gossip Girl season 2, and it was amazing. God bless Chuck & Blair.

I bought a new book- Choke- by Chuck Palahniuk. I haven't started reading yet, but I'm extremely excited to.

I really want to attend the Toronto International Film Festival this year. However, the package deal I want is like $400. Fml. I'm still broke especially considering H&M shortened my shift yesterday, and my shift was cancelled today. I guess I just have to wait until next year to go to my first ever film fest. Oh, and I was supposed to go see the Olsen twins on Much on Demand but we never got a phone call back for the tickets. Now me and my friend are waiting for tickets to see the Jonai at MuchMusic.

Before summer ends, I still have to:

- Learn the foundations of screenplay.

- Attend a University Fair

- Get my Mac and iPod fixed

- Get a pedicure

- Get a new cellphone

- Fill up my sketchbook

- Have a night to myself watching Audrey Hepburn films.

& Countdown until I get this close to Nick Jonas: 8 Days.<3

When two different worlds collide.

By the end of this blog, I hope you figure out this is about you.

Growing up, I never really lost a friend and had time to re-connect with them again. Or maybe it wasn't because I didn't have time, but because I never cared for it. But for once, this is different.

I made friends with the new girl back in grade eight. As the year went by, the new girl became my best friend. She helped me become the character I am today. We had friendship that was fresh, true, caring, supportive, and was never boring. It was friendship that you wanted to boast and be proud of. It was friendship where at times you wouldn't have anything to talk about, and there wouldn't be a slight sign of awkwardness. It was the friendship that you wanted to have for every summer.

It was a friendship I never wanted to change. But suddenly, I did. High school came along and everything changed. Everyday, I wanted more and more. I got caught up in teenage insecurities and felt like I needed more, even though i didn't know exactly what it was i needed. I wanted to be wanted. I was going to be a new person.

I know, what the hell right?

Soon enough, our friendship was breaking. We were distant as we'd ever been.

What hurts the most is that I know it's my fault because I walked away first.

Here's the thing: I'm sorry I was selfish first, and not a friend. I should've been a friend first. And when I wanted to be a friend again, I'm sorry I stepped back the second time because I was a coward.

Truth: Re-connecting was the best thing I've put my effort in this year. I wish we could work our friendship to the way it was before. I know it will take some time. But here's another thing: I'm still the same person you met in grade eight, the who makes crazy Harry Potter accents with people.

I love you, and I'm sorry for being a shithead.