Anticipation with a cherry on top.

My incredible family and I went down to Pacific Mall today. I genuinely love and appreciate family weekends. To top it off, Chinese food never fails to satisfy me. And as an extra cherry on top, I got a cherry red Blackberry Curve- and I love love love it. This is my third phone this year, but I have a really good feeling this will be a keeper.

& Anticipation is

TOMORROW:

Hah. It's going to be an amazing day.

Yesterday, the day before, today, and tomorrow.

Yesterday

Went to downtown T.O. with Michelle/Miley. Splurged on clothes and shoes- just the usual. Met some really nice celebs (info& pics coming soon). Toronto is my home. Seriously.

The day before

Went down to the city again. Saw my sister's condo, and Liberty Village. It's absolutely breathtaking. God I can't wait until I get to be as independent as she is.

Today

I would just like to stay at home, clean my room a bit, finish 'Choke,' and start reading the fashion bible. And if I don't get too lazy, i'll hit up the gym.

Tomorrow

Work and work and work.

And possibly a movie?

Oh, and three days until Nicholas Jonas. I'm freaking out.

"Never never look in the rearview mirror darling. It makes no difference what's behind you."

This is the very reason why I long for a chance in the film industry.

Film allows you a taste of any century you dream of.

Any place you want to step into. Any story you want performed.

Any family you want to be a part of.

A character you've been dying to meet.

A life you want to live. Laughter. Tears. Action.

Real life adventures. Things that could never ever happen in reality.

Right before your eyes. See it once. Or again. And again.

Hell yeah, it will last forever. And the feeling you get after every good movie, it will always be there.

Anyway, I have really got to see 'My One and Only.'

I absolutely love Renee Zellweger.

And Logan Lerman is a studmuffin. God I have got to get famous soon enough.

All the gorgeous boys are in Hollywood. Hah.

Mother, we just can't get enough.

I finally finished Gossip Girl season 2, and it was amazing. God bless Chuck & Blair.

I bought a new book- Choke- by Chuck Palahniuk. I haven't started reading yet, but I'm extremely excited to.

I really want to attend the Toronto International Film Festival this year. However, the package deal I want is like $400. Fml. I'm still broke especially considering H&M shortened my shift yesterday, and my shift was cancelled today. I guess I just have to wait until next year to go to my first ever film fest. Oh, and I was supposed to go see the Olsen twins on Much on Demand but we never got a phone call back for the tickets. Now me and my friend are waiting for tickets to see the Jonai at MuchMusic.

Before summer ends, I still have to:

- Learn the foundations of screenplay.

- Attend a University Fair

- Get my Mac and iPod fixed

- Get a pedicure

- Get a new cellphone

- Fill up my sketchbook

- Have a night to myself watching Audrey Hepburn films.

& Countdown until I get this close to Nick Jonas: 8 Days.<3

When two different worlds collide.

By the end of this blog, I hope you figure out this is about you.

Growing up, I never really lost a friend and had time to re-connect with them again. Or maybe it wasn't because I didn't have time, but because I never cared for it. But for once, this is different.

I made friends with the new girl back in grade eight. As the year went by, the new girl became my best friend. She helped me become the character I am today. We had friendship that was fresh, true, caring, supportive, and was never boring. It was friendship that you wanted to boast and be proud of. It was friendship where at times you wouldn't have anything to talk about, and there wouldn't be a slight sign of awkwardness. It was the friendship that you wanted to have for every summer.

It was a friendship I never wanted to change. But suddenly, I did. High school came along and everything changed. Everyday, I wanted more and more. I got caught up in teenage insecurities and felt like I needed more, even though i didn't know exactly what it was i needed. I wanted to be wanted. I was going to be a new person.

I know, what the hell right?

Soon enough, our friendship was breaking. We were distant as we'd ever been.

What hurts the most is that I know it's my fault because I walked away first.

Here's the thing: I'm sorry I was selfish first, and not a friend. I should've been a friend first. And when I wanted to be a friend again, I'm sorry I stepped back the second time because I was a coward.

Truth: Re-connecting was the best thing I've put my effort in this year. I wish we could work our friendship to the way it was before. I know it will take some time. But here's another thing: I'm still the same person you met in grade eight, the who makes crazy Harry Potter accents with people.

I love you, and I'm sorry for being a shithead.

So fucking ridiculous, people can be.

How is it that one little conversation, wait no, not even a conversation- a question- can turn into a huge fight?

Today at the dinner table I brought up University to my parents. I asked, "dad would it be okay if everytime you get a paycheck you save up at least $50 for me, or even $20?"

I needed to ask this question because, remembering the day my mom told me they haven't saved a penny for my education, over the past year i've been stressing over trying to save up for University.

I mean come on, it's not selfish for me to ask because

1. I bet every other parent has been saving up for their kid since they were born

2. Grade 12 is fast approaching

3. Twenty freaking bucks is not a lot to ask from a parent with a full time job

4. My job does not give me enough hours- I'd be lucky as hell if my paycheck made it to 3 digits

5. Not only am I stressing over shit every seventeen-year-old kid stresses over, now i gotta save up for University all on my own. I might as well be my own parent.

Moving on, that one concern suddenly turned my parents into raging animals. My dad started complaining about how he works 7 days a week (which is at his own will, btw) and how my mom controls all the money he makes, how he doesn't even know where it goes, an that I should talk to my mom about it. Then my mom started being completely ignorant saying "of course it goes to the bills, the food, etc.. if you want we can all just starve to death so we can save money for you, for everyone" blah blah. Uhm, yeah mom, that's exactly what i want, for me to die before i even apply for University. I wanted to cry. Not cry over how sorry i felt for myself. But how pathetic my parents reacted over a perfectly normal family concern. So i grabbed my juicebox and left the table.

The first thing I did was take the phone and call my sister Jenny to get some tips on what the hell I should do. She was at work. I was doomed.

From my room, I still heard my parents attacking each other with idiotic responses as I began to pray to God this nonsense will end, and that my pregnant sister and her baby don't have to endure it any longer.

It stopped after five minutes which felt like a whole hour. The last thing I heard- and I wish I didn't- was my mom's silly decision to go to the bank at that second and change the accounts so that my dad can manage all his own money and the family bills. GOD, I really believe marriage makes you lose your sanity. God please bless all the couples who want to get married.

Anyway, so here I am now still venting over this situation, and i feel better by the second.

I just really wish people weren't such animals and end every situation (no matter how scary it might be) into a huge scene.

I wish my parents could have just acted like calm adults and ended off with "we'll try our best to help you out, but you know we can't make our promises. Just hang in there."

Even just to hear that they will try to support me would take a shitload of stress off my back.

But then again, life's a bitch. I though my parents could help me out with that, since after all, they did give me my life. But life's still a bitch.

Let's just hope my parents don't try to start World War 3.

Room Reno, baby.